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lyrics

Don't tell me it's over cuz this is what I dreamt of
Don't wake me up, I'm not strong enough to face this nightmare
Now how can I shoulder all the weight of our lost love?
This breaking home, shared but feels alone, not that you might care
Seems so far, but at least you're still hear
Chilled by the thought, oh I'm chilled by the thought
Of you making a smile for somebody else
Someone, some love, someone who's not me

Should I love you for making my dream come true?
Or just hate you for making me waste my dream on you?
Strange to be a stranger in the eyes of the one who said,
"I do. I'll love you for better or worse through sick 'til death"
Cuz you're not dead

I'm the gate you broke through to get to the grass on the other side
And I hope it's true, it's as green as you wish
I'm coming unhinged, so much for bliss, oh woah oh I don't deserve this
How long 'til I'm repaired? How long 'til I'm replaced?
And not that you might care, but just in case
I long for the day you return to me and say, "the grass over here was the perfect shade"
Now you're so far and I wish you were here
Killed by the thought, oh I'm killed by the thought
Of you raising our child with somebody else
Someone, some love, someone not worthy

Should I love you for making my dream come true?
Or just hate you for making me waste my dream on you?
Strange to be a stranger in the eyes of the one who said,
"I do. I'll love you for better or worse through sick 'til death"
Cuz you're not dead

As relations became a sinking ship the living room became a dying tomb. You left me needing and I left you wanting all those nights we spent not talking. When you finally find what you've been missing, will you be missing me? And when you finally get what you think you wanted, will it be what you need?
This staircase has seen our ups and downs, all the fair days when love was still around, when the louvers of the jalousie were open for other lovers to be jealous of you and me. When I finally find what I've been missing, will it be a wish come true? And when I've finally got what I think I needed, will I still be wanting you?
Will I still be wanting you?

(If it's not killing you to let me go I'm not dying to hold on
Hate that I love you. I'd love to just hate you.)

credits

from This is Not a Test, released November 28, 2016

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