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This is Not a Test

by Between Dreams and Awake

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1.
Is this the end? or a new beginning? Seasons decay? Or reasons to change? Is this the end? or a new beginning? An end or a start depends on your heart Is this the end? or a new beginning? Seasons decay? Or reasons to change? Is this the end? or a new beginning? What's in your heart, An end or a start?
2.
Is love a summer I'll never know? Am I better off alone? Cuz that's how I always end up anyway A season is on it's way bringing a chill to the sky A reason has come to bay bringing a still to my eyes The cold will freeze our bones And snow will cover the ground But I swear I will warm your soul If you just keep me around There's spring in my touch and summer in your gaze Will it be enough to warm the winter days Is love a summer I'll never know? Am I better off alone? Cuz that's how I always end up anyway A season, surrounding us, filling up with romances A reason is drowning us, killing all of our chances The fall is beautiful And leaves all cover the ground But I swear I will stay colorful If you just keep me around The spring seems so far will summer ever come On these frozen hearts, no warmth from Autumn's sun Is love a summer I'll never know? Am I better off alone? Cuz that's how I always end up anyway Is love a summer that's only meant For a vacation spent, Content with no intent of letting me stay? To everything a season, to every fling a season To everything a season, to every fling a season Spring in and summer's love Fall out and winter's numb Another storm, another lost horizon And summer's warmth has come and gone again Another storm, another lost horizon And summer's warmth has come and gone again
3.
Breach 06:52
Don't tell me it's over cuz this is what I dreamt of Don't wake me up, I'm not strong enough to face this nightmare Now how can I shoulder all the weight of our lost love? This breaking home, shared but feels alone, not that you might care Seems so far, but at least you're still hear Chilled by the thought, oh I'm chilled by the thought Of you making a smile for somebody else Someone, some love, someone who's not me Should I love you for making my dream come true? Or just hate you for making me waste my dream on you? Strange to be a stranger in the eyes of the one who said, "I do. I'll love you for better or worse through sick 'til death" Cuz you're not dead I'm the gate you broke through to get to the grass on the other side And I hope it's true, it's as green as you wish I'm coming unhinged, so much for bliss, oh woah oh I don't deserve this How long 'til I'm repaired? How long 'til I'm replaced? And not that you might care, but just in case I long for the day you return to me and say, "the grass over here was the perfect shade" Now you're so far and I wish you were here Killed by the thought, oh I'm killed by the thought Of you raising our child with somebody else Someone, some love, someone not worthy Should I love you for making my dream come true? Or just hate you for making me waste my dream on you? Strange to be a stranger in the eyes of the one who said, "I do. I'll love you for better or worse through sick 'til death" Cuz you're not dead As relations became a sinking ship the living room became a dying tomb. You left me needing and I left you wanting all those nights we spent not talking. When you finally find what you've been missing, will you be missing me? And when you finally get what you think you wanted, will it be what you need? This staircase has seen our ups and downs, all the fair days when love was still around, when the louvers of the jalousie were open for other lovers to be jealous of you and me. When I finally find what I've been missing, will it be a wish come true? And when I've finally got what I think I needed, will I still be wanting you? Will I still be wanting you? (If it's not killing you to let me go I'm not dying to hold on Hate that I love you. I'd love to just hate you.)

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This is Not a Test

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released November 28, 2016

Subcat Studios, Syracuse, New York, Steve Brown: Mixing and Mastering

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Between Dreams and Awake Syracuse, New York

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